Before Dark: Brothers after Dark Book 1 Read online

  “Yes.” I chew a corner of my lip. “I do love you, Winston.” Even though most of the time it has only been physical, a part of my heart lit up every time he smiled at me. I loved having him near. I thought about him constantly when he was away. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. “I can’t wait to be your wife.”

  I don’t even know where to start with telling people I’m engaged. No one, not even my family, knew I was seeing someone.

  He slides his tongue between my lips, our bodies pressed together so tight his erection pushes against my belly. “You better get out of here before I fuck you again,” he says.

  “See you later. I’ll send my driver to pick you up at eight.” He gives my butt a gentle tap. “No word to anyone about our engagement...not yet.” He returns to his chair on the other side. “Miss Mcnally, I suggest you pack your things right now and leave the premises before I get the guards to come and escort you out of the building.”

  “And what am I guilty of, Mr. Slade?”

  “For fucking your boss in broad daylight.” He still has a naughty grin on his face when he flips open his laptop.

  “You wouldn’t dare.” I lift my hand to admire my ring. I love how it catches the light.

  “I’m glad you like it,” he says.

  “I don’t like it. I love it. It’s so beautiful. You did a great job.” With that, I give him a secret smile and step out the door, but not before I remove the ring and curl my fingers around it. I’m not yet prepared for the questions. We’ll share our news together.

  I find it hard to contain my joy when I enter my office to find Darlene still in there, waiting for me.

  “What did Mr. Slade want from you?”

  “He fired me.” Tucking my grin away, I pack my bags while Darlene looks on in shock.

  “Why would he do that?” Her voice is sharp. “I’m your boss. What did you do?”

  “He simply said there’s no longer a place for me at Slade.” I give a small shrug. “You treated me like crap anyway. Feel free to celebrate.”

  “I need you,” she breathes. “There’s a lot of work for you to do here.”

  “You told me more than once that I’m incompetent. Now is your chance to find someone better.” I turn away to empty the drawers. “I don’t think my successor will do most of your work as well, though.” While Darlene spent her days barking at me, I usually did the work she didn’t feel like doing.

  “You piece of—”

  “Don’t.” I shoot her a fiery gaze. “I’m done being insulted by you.”

  I leave the office without saying goodbye to her. The moment I exit the glass doors of the building, my face finally breaks into a grin.

  Chapter Two

  Winston jerks and stiffens as he explodes inside me. His body presses me deeper into the mattress, his face buried in my neck, his skin sleek with sweat.

  My body feels alive underneath his, flooded with heat and ecstasy beneath the expensive sheets.

  “I knew I couldn’t live without this.” He kisses me on the lips. “I had to have you for life.”

  I giggle. “I’m glad you asked.”

  He holds me for a long time afterward. I’ve always craved this, always wanted him to hold me a little longer, to ask me to stay. Now here we are.

  He finally rolls off me with a satisfied sigh and kisses my arm. My skin is still sensitive to his touch.

  Moments later, he falls asleep next to me for the first time, still naked. Before he proposed, he never did this. As soon as sex was over, he got dressed.

  In the dim light I take another glance at my engagement ring and something shifts inside of me. A tiny shift with a big impact. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I’m starting to question my decision.

  I’ve been on a rush the entire day, gazing at my ring, replaying the scene that had happened in his office when he first fired me then proposed. Not once did I doubt I made the right decision. Until now, when the rush is wearing off and my feet are finding solid ground.

  Marriage is a big deal. Shouldn’t I have given it more thought before saying yes? It had felt so right in the moment, but what if it doesn’t work out? My heart tells me we’re perfect for each other, but what if perfect is an illusion? What if fairy tales don’t exist?

  I lower my hand next to me and breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth as I do during yoga. The smell of white roses is suddenly overwhelming.

  He went all out. When I arrived at his place, I found every corner of his penthouse decorated with white blooms and candles. The color matches most of the furnishings in his home.

  My heart is thudding as I slide one leg out of bed, followed by the other. The satin sheets sigh against my skin with each movement.

  I get to my feet, careful not to wake him, and tiptoe to the marble bathroom, which is also decorated in various shades of white as the rest of the house.

  The floor is cool under my feet, but it fails to cool my racing thoughts. I move to the lit up mirror and look into my green eyes, which are stark against my tanned skin.

  Is this what you really want, Jenna?

  The whispers of the little voice inside my head are getting louder and now that the world is quiet, I’m finding it hard to shut it off.

  I know why I’m having doubts and it has nothing to do with my feelings for him, which are so intense they make my heart full to bursting. There’s only one problem. We haven’t had a real relationship. We jumped from sex straight to wanting to get married. Together we only experienced the thrilling side of life. Not one argument, not one real life issue discussed. It terrifies me to think that one day when real life problems show up, they could break us. Everything is all bright now, but what would our relationship look like when the sky becomes cloudy?

  My hands clutch the edge of the sink, my heart hammering inside my chest. How could I have been so impulsive? Did I do the right thing walking away from a job because of a man?

  Earlier during dinner prepared by Winston’s personal chef, I’d brought up the topic of looking for another job. He told me not to stress myself, said I don’t actually need a job because he’ll take care of me. The response had nagged me a little, but I ignored the feeling. I didn’t bother to pursue the topic.

  The truth is, I’d never allow myself to be fully dependent on a man, even one worth billions. I cherish my freedom too much. I came to New York not to find a job, but to build a career. Now here I am giving it all up for a man. What would my family think? They would be shocked that after six months of dating someone, I’m already on my way to the altar.

  As I stand in front of the mirror, taking in my naked body, I admit to myself that I’m afraid. I’m afraid that all this could suddenly go south. I’m afraid that one day I’ll wake up from this dream to find that our reality is not as beautiful as I thought it would be.

  I look into my eyes again, but my body jerks when I catch sight of Winston’s eyes. He’s standing in the doorway, well-defined arms crossed as he leans against the doorframe, a quiet smirk on his face.

  “Are you okay?” he asks.

  I force my heart to calm down and turn to face him. “Winston? Are you sure this is what you want?”

  He walks into the bathroom and stands opposite me, eyebrows drawn. “What I want? What do you mean?” He tucks a curly strand of my coal black hair behind my ear.

  “I mean, do you really want me...us? Forever?”

  “Of course it’s you I want. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I wasn’t sure. I never make decisions I’m not sure about. That trait got me far in business.”

  “But this is not business, Winston. This is personal.”

  “Believe me, Jenna, you are my right choice. I want you for the rest of my life.”

  “But we didn’t really have a proper relationship. We hardly went out on dates. We never had meaningful conversations.”

  His finger traces the length of my jaw to my chin. “We’ve had plenty of conversations between the sheets.”

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nbsp; I purse my lips. My cheeks blush when I recall all the times we made love in random places. “Come on, you know what I mean. We’ve been together for six months and we only had sex. Not once were we together without ending up between the sheets. We didn’t really get to know each other.”

  “We have the rest of our lives to do that.”

  “But—”

  “No buts.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “There are couples who date for years, then they get married and it doesn’t work out. Some even divorce soon after exchanging vows. What does that tell you?”

  I shrug. “You’re right. It’s wrong to judge the quality of a relationship by the length of time a couple has been dating.”

  “Exactly.” He winks and places both hands on my shoulders. Before I can say another word, he spins me around to face the mirror again, positioning himself behind me. I gasp when one of his hands cups my vagina, while the other guides his dick into me. I bite into my lower lip and lean forward, making it easy for him to enter.

  I ignore the voice at the back of my mind warning me that this is exactly the problem. We can never carry out a conversation for long before falling into each other’s arms. But I can’t stop myself now. My body is already reacting to his touch.

  I reach behind me, urging him to slide in deeper. He gives me what I want without holding back.

  “How much do you want it?” he asks. “How much do you want me?”

  “You know how much I want you.” My voice comes out in quick gasps.

  “I want to hear your words, baby.” He gives me one deep thrust and stills. “Tell me.”

  “I want you so bad,” I breathe, my hands tight around the sink, my feet on tiptoes so I can better reach him.

  “That’s my girl...my fiancée.” He gives me a slap on my butt cheek and picks up the pace.

  The moment lasts only a few minutes and at the end of it, we’re both panting, laughing, and rolling around on the bathroom floor. I was being silly worrying about making the wrong decision. What we have is what many people search for their entire lives. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together. Every time Winston touches me he lights a fire underneath my skin. He has to be it for me.

  Shortly before 1:00 a.m., he ushers me downstairs to feed me ice cream in the spacious kitchen.

  “Why don’t we enjoy these in the bedroom?” He winks.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  He picks up the ice cream bowls and we return to the bedroom, where he lights the glass fireplace and feeds me the cold, sweet dessert in bed. The atmosphere is so romantic. With so many windows, it feels as though we’re sleeping outside.

  With each breath, I find myself calming down, feeling more sure about our decision to get married.

  We barely speak, but the exchanged glances hold so much more meaning than words ever could.

  “Tell me you’re happy,” he whispers. “Tell me you’re happy with me.”

  In this moment, right now, next to him, inside our little bubble, I think I am. “I am happy,” I say, even though I don’t really know what happiness is.

  “That’s the most important thing. Never try to sabotage your own happiness. Some people never get happy because they spend their lives questioning whether it’s too good to be true. What we have is not too good to be true.” He puts down his bowl and turns me to face him. “When you look into my eyes, what do you see?”

  “Darkness.” I giggle like a little girl. His eyes are so dark they’re almost black. They give him an air of mystery.

  “What else do you see?”

  “My face.”

  “That’s the right answer. You see yourself reflected in my eyes. You’re the only woman I want to be looking at.” He places my hand on his heart. “I love you, Jenna. I can’t get enough of you. I want all of you, every part of you. I’ll take such great care of you in every way.”

  “I know you will.” I toy with a lock of my hair. “But I will find a job. I know you said I shouldn’t find another job because you’ll take care of me, but I need to work.”

  He pulls away ever so slightly, but I notice. “I don’t understand why you would do that to yourself. We don’t need the money.”

  “I know, but it’s not only for the money. I actually enjoy working.” I can imagine work would be even more satisfying when there’s no pressure to earn a living.

  His eyes seem to have darkened even more, his lips forming a thin line. “Is that what you really want?” He sighs. “Fine. I understand. I respect that. Let me know when you’re ready to go job hunting and I’ll make a few calls.”

  “That’s not necessary.” I square my shoulders. “I’ll find something on my own.” This is the most meaningful conversation we’ve ever had. But I don’t understand why I’m so relieved. I shouldn’t need his permission to work.

  “I want you to be happy. If slaving away in an office is your idea of happiness, then I’m all for it and will support you one hundred percent. But when you come home, you are all mine.”

  “I really do love you.” I place my hands on both sides of his face and beam at him. “How did I get so lucky?”

  “I’m the lucky one.” He lays his hands on top of mine. “I’m about to marry one of the most beautiful women in the world.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” I laugh. “You dated gorgeous models and celebrities. I’m only a small town girl.”

  “You’re more beautiful than all of them combined. You’re a real natural beauty.”

  “Well, I’m honored to hear that, Mr. Slade.”

  “It’s the truth.” He kisses my cheek. “Now let’s get some sleep. It’s late.”

  When I close my eyes, I dream of us many years from now, sitting on the beach with our kids running around us. This real life fairy tale doesn’t end at midnight.

  Chapter Three

  I should be ecstatic waking up next to my fiancé for the first time. Instead, claustrophobia is pressing down on my chest.

  I lay a hand on my chest and pull in a silent breath. I release the air slowly, following the stream as it exits my body.

  I turn to look at him, but he’s not there. His place is warm to the touch, but he’s gone. I can’t help feeling a pang as I remember the days he used to leave after sex. But those days are gone. We’re engaged now.

  The door opens as I’m swinging my legs out of bed. Winston fills the doorway, a wooden tray in his hands. He’s still naked.

  “Good morning, my future wife.” He crosses the space between us to come to the bed.

  I place a hand on my lips to stifle a giggle. “What happened to your clothes?” I ignore the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  He glances down at his penis with a grin. “I’m in my own home. I’m free to walk around butt naked.”

  “What about Linda? Is she not around to see you walking around naked?” Linda is Winston’s housekeeper, whom I’ve only met twice.

  “Not to worry. I gave her the day off. The entire weekend actually.”

  “Why? Are you traveling again?”

  He lowers the tray to my lap. The aromas of pancakes, bacon, and toast tease my nostrils and make my mouth water. “Did you prepare all this?”

  “I sure did.” He waves at the tray. “May I present to you French toast, cranberry orange pancakes, and Danish waffles. And, of course, orange juice and fruit. I hope it’s to your liking, my lady.” He laughs.

  “Thank you, Mr. Slade. This looks delicious.”

  He gives a satisfied nod. “And in answer to your question, yes, I’m going away for a few days, but not alone.”

  “Your personal assistant will accompany you?” I bite into the fluffiest pancake I’ve ever tasted. “Hmmm, this is so good.”

  “That pleases the chef greatly.” He shakes his head. “Not my personal assistant, but my fiancée.”

  I hold the glass of orange juice halfway to my lips. “I’m coming with you?”

  “I’ve only ever been engaged once. And you’re it.”
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  “Where are we going?” My heart flutters a little, but the positive feeling is not enough to clear the heaviness inside my chest.

  “How does the Maldives sound?”

  “Fabulous. When...when will we leave?”

  “As soon as you finish breakfast.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” I take a sip of my juice, enjoying the tangy taste on my tongue.

  “Not at all. We’ll be spending a few days there—three, maybe four.”

  “But I have so much to do. I need to find a new job.”

  “Why don’t you enjoy your freedom before you find another one?”

  A curtain of silence falls between us as I bite into my Danish waffle. I take my time before answering, weighing his offer. “I guess you have a point.”

  “Of course I do.” He picks up a grape from the tray and pops it into his mouth. “I thought it would be a nice way to celebrate our engagement.”

  “Have you told anyone about it yet?” I wanted to tell my family immediately after Winston proposed yesterday, but I couldn’t get myself to. Firstly, Winston is much older than me and I’m a bit nervous they might disapprove. Secondly, this news is too important to share over the phone. I’ll have to tell them in person.

  “I actually planned on going to Misty Cove to tell my family.” Misty Cove is a cozy little beach town in Florida where I spent most of my life.

  “Your family will be there when we return. Let’s spend a few days alone first. Let’s enjoy the time together before other people get involved.” He lowers himself to the edge of the bed. “When we get back, I’ll even accompany you to Misty Cove. We can tell them together. What do you say?”

  “Yeah, okay. I wonder how they will react. They didn’t even know I was seeing someone.”

  “If they love you, and they see how much I love you, they will approve. You don’t have to worry. I’ll win them over. But come with me to paradise first.”

  Maybe a getaway is what I need to calm my nerves, to clear my doubts. “Yes, okay, I’ll come with you. Let’s go to the Maldives.”